What to do when your job is a soul sucking vacuum
Do you ever feel like clocking into your day job is the equivalent to sitting on a vacuum & letting it suck your soul straight out of your asshole?
If you’ve ever seen the first IGTV video we posted, you would hear how freaking pumped I was to be doing something that was in line with my souls purpose, specifically by offering me the tools and resources I needed to start OM. Flash forward 1 year and you’ll find a burnt out entrepreneur still working a full time high demanding job with a decreasing sense of motivation to perform. While there are a whole lot of issues that are outside of my control that contribute to these feelings, I’d be lying to you if I didn’t take the blame myself. This is because at the end of the day, if I’m unhappy it’s up to me to change it. And if I don’t want to change it, it’s also up to me to show up and kill it regardless of any circumstances at play. To do either of those though, is a whole other set of challenges that have left me drowning in emotional stress and resistance instead of thriving in the moment and being grateful for the opportunities that I have.
While the time to jump into OM full time is not YET arrived, it is slowly approaching. With that being said, so are all the deep rooted fears that come along with it. Making the leap would mean out goes the safety of a salary, health benefits, routine and in comes some major RESPONSIBILITY.
Beyond the actual fear of letting go of our sense of security, whether that be in our job or relationships, lives an inherent laziness in taking full responsibility for our own lives. If your boss isn’t there to slap your wrist anytime you logged in a little to late or walked away from your tasks to handle your existential dread, who will?
Do I trust myself to wake up every morning and dedicate my time to OM without someone watching over me? Do I also trust that I’ll remember to eat, take breaks and socialize on the weekends? Will I get lazy and let my business partner down, or worse myself? Will I be able to generate enough money to pay for my living expenses?
And the bigger question, ARE THESE FEARS JUST EXCUSES TO AVOID STEPPING INTO RESPONSIBILITY? Most definitely. While these feelings are certainly valid, at their root I know they are also the same excuses I make for avoiding the self discipline I’ll need to have to ensure all of my needs are cared for, each and every day.
Lucky for me I chose a business partner who will literally kick my ass if I don’t perform as expected - and luckily, she also deeply trusts me more than I even trust myself. While I might still be working to overcome my own fears of failure and success (yes I’m also more afraid of succeeding than I am of failing), in the meantime I can rely on trusting Jill. Not only will she attack anyone who tries to take advantage of me, but she is not afraid to constantly remind me that I am a high performer through and through, especially in our collective dream of building this community into an empire where ALL of you can reap the rewards of Octopied Mind.
This dream belongs to all of us. Building a place for the weirdos, the outcasts, the rejects and the ones who are just “a bit off”. Whether this is the place you seek a wake up call for in reading our posts, find comic relief in our bathroom monologues, booking services with our *secret future stuff coming out*, or shopping for clothes that communicate your feelings better than your socially awkward self ever could, THIS PLACE BELONGS TO YOU! Awaken and move into your power at your own pace or even not at all - OM is home for one and all (poems show I’m a softy).
The point I’m making is: You can drive yourself mad in asking the universe for signs or the people around you to give you clear permissions to do what your soul craves to do. At the end of the day, there is never truly the right time to take action, or the right move to make because it will lead you to the lessons you need to learn every single time. However, there is one element that we feel remains true in all of life’s mystery. Throughout the journey of seeking your purpose, the hunger you have for something more is all you ever need.