While the depth of our emotions are valid, our reactivity to situations can leave us feeling disempowered & embarrassed especially when it feels as though the intensity of our feelings are out of proportion to what’s at stake.
The reason why these moments feel so overwhelming is because your body is not simply becoming upset at what IS but reliving ALL of the little moments that felt similar to the current moment, simultaneously. This is why seemingly small things can aggressively topple us to the ground without any attention to the hours of meditation, learning or therapy we’ve invested in.
Growing up our feelings of being hurt, confused, upset, afraid, insecure etc. were often dismissed, minimized, or even ridiculed by the people in our lives (parents, teachers, friends, partners). In a society that tells us that vulnerability is a sign of weakness, no wonder why we’ve trained ourselves to swallow our tears & toughen up.
Operating in an emotionally repressive society, trauma (of all sizes) becomes densely layered in our bodies. When we are in a stressful situation our nervous system expects to go through a complete cycle (threat -> physically address the threat by either fight, flight or freeze (F3) -> return to homeostasis where your body feels at peace again & you can move on). However, the cycle often gets interrupted because we’ve socialized ourselves out of fully expressing the F3 part of the experience which we crave when we are triggered. This interruption traps us in a loop of replaying the memories we made during an upsetting event over & over again.
The best way to re-wire this programming is to train ourselves instead to turn towards vulnerability. Underneath our reactive expression there is a vulnerable self. By choosing to connect with our vulnerability we are giving ourselves the permission & space we were once denied to express what’s truly going on inside and what softer feelings we’re trying to protect. Making a conscious choice to turn towards vulnerability is the first step to re-wiring our reactivity to upsetting moments into empowered choice.
Working with our emotional triggers can be a doorway for healing, connectedness, understanding & closeness to not only the people we love but to ourselves. With practice we can get back in touch with our preferred responses - Ones that align with our values & intentions of being compassionate, collaborative, understanding human beings.
